How To Be Annoying (A Guide)
* Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you %26#039;%26#039;like it that way.%26#039;%26#039;
* Drum on every available surface.
* Sing the Batman theme incessantly.
* Staple papers in the middle of the page.
* Ask 800 operators for dates.
* Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copy warnings.
* Sew anti-theft detector strips into people%26#039;s backpacks.
* Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.
* Specify that your drive-through order is %26#039;%26#039;to go.%26#039;%26#039;
* Set alarms for random times.
* Buy large quantities of mint dental floss just to lick the flavor off.
* Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.
* Honk and wave to strangers.
* Dress only in clothes colored Hunter%26#039;s Orange.
* Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.
* Tape pieces of %26#039;%26#039;Sweating to the Oldies%26#039;%26#039; over climactic parts of rental movies. * Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complementary mints by the cash register.
* ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
* only type in lowercase.
* dont use any punctuation either.
* Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
* Pay for your dinner with pennies.
* Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
* Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: %26#039;%26#039;Do you hear that?%26#039;%26#039; %26#039;%26#039;What?%26#039;%26#039; %26#039;%26#039;Never mind, it%26#039;s gone now.%26#039;%26#039;
* Light road flares on a birthday cake.
* Wander around the restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.
* Leave tips in Bolivian currency.
* Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.
* At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.
* As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
* Stand over someone%26#039;s shoulder, mumbling, as they read.
* Finish the 99 bottles of beer song.
* Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
* Pretend your mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.
* Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce %26#039;%26#039;No, wait, I messed it up!%26#039;%26#039; and repeat.
* Drive half a block.
* Name your dog %26#039;%26#039;Dog.%26#039;%26#039;
* Ask people what gender they are.
* Reply to everything someone says with %26#039;%26#039;That%26#039;s what YOU think.%26#039;%26#039;
* Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back in the tray.
* Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a %26#039;%26#039;real hoot%26#039;%26#039;.
* Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don%26#039;t want to fall off %26#039;%26#039;in case the big one comes%26#039;%26#039;.
* Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol.
* Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers%26#039; brains, such as %26#039;%26#039;Feliz Navidad%26#039;%26#039;, the Archies%26#039; %26#039;%26#039;Sugar%26#039;%26#039; or the Mr. Rogers theme song.
* While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
* Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.
* Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
* Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.
* Change your name to John Aaaaasmith for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it%26#039;s a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each A.
* Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
* Chew on pens that you%26#039;ve borrowed.
* Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
* Wear a LOT of cologne.
* Ask to %26#039;%26#039;interface%26#039;%26#039; with someone.
* Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your %26#039;%26#039;superior mental processing.%26#039;%26#039;
* Sing along at the opera.
* Mow your lawn with scissors.
* At a golf tournament, chant %26#039;%26#039;swing-batatatatatata-suhWING-batter!%26#039;%26#039;
* Finish all your sentences with the words %26#039;%26#039;in accordance with prophesy.%26#039;%26#039;
* Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn%26#039;t rhyme.
* Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about %26#039;%26#039;psychological profiles.%26#039;%26#039;
* Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a %26#039;%26#039;magic picture%26#039;%26#039;.
* Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.
* Scuff your feet on a dry, shaggy carpet and seek out victims.
* Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you%26#039;ll be saying more any moment.
* Never make eye contact.
* Never break eye contact.
* Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
* Construct elaborate %26#039;%26#039;crop circles%26#039;%26#039; in your front lawn.
* Construct your own pretend %26#039;%26#039;tricorder%26#039;%26#039; and %26#039;%26#039;scan%26#039;%26#039; people with it, announcing the results.
* Give a play-by-play account of a person%26#039;s every action in a nasal Howard Cossell voice.
* Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
* Make appointments for the 31st of September.
* Invite lots of people to other people%26#039;s parties.
* Send fifty copies of this list to everyone you know.|||what a waste of 5 points but i got 2|||I agree with some of this !! I do not think I will send fifty copies of this list to everyone I know, however.|||LOL that%26#039;s hilarious! You only forgot 2 mention that when someone says that they missed the 24 bus, you tell them to take the 12 bus twice.|||wow. you must have a lot of time on your hands.|||i actually do some of those things.|||your out to lunch--for sure....|||yes you did annoy me for making me read it all, good job :)
